Contact Heaven

Most of us have now learned to live only with telefon, Mobile fon , voice mail, internet telefony etc as a necessary part of our lives. Technology as it develops , sometimes causes us impatience ,of late in most of the instances  particularly when we are over fon trying to reach someone quickly.We need everything to be done instantaneously and get things done at one stroke which of course never happens.

With this background a little imagination of how it would be if a person  spoke to GOD over Fon.......Sometimes even wondered what it would be like if God decided to install a telefon in his office and have answering machine too installed ? ( The voice would have to be of a sweet angel) Imagine praying and hearing the following:

Thank you for calling heaven.

For Hindi press 1
For English press 2
For all other languages, press 3

Say for instance you have chosen the language – English & so you’ll opt to  press 2 , then u get these options again

Press 1 for Jesus christ

Press 2 for Allah

Press 3 for  Hindu Gods

So this person has pressed 3 for Hindu Gods & he gets these options

Press 1 for Male Gods

Press 2 for female Gods

Press 3 for Gods of other forms(Snakes, peacock, even rats in Rajasthan !!!!)

He chooses option 2 and again gets to hear these

Press 1 for requests
Press 2 for thanksgivings
Press 3 for complaints
Press 9 to speak to an angel at any time during the course of the call

This call will be recorded for quality purpose

I am sorry, all our Angels are busy helping other sinners (Paapis) right now. However, your call is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. The time that will be taken to attend your call will be atleast 29 minutes…???( No one knows y it is 29 minutes) Please stay on the line and enjoy these songs……..( all devotional songs being played in RAP module)

To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then enter his/ her CPR number and press #

(If you receive a negative response, ensure that you do not get upset and frown on the system – once u’ve started to speak to God  your calls will be recorded by angels without your knowledge – it’s likely to increase your sins!!!! So remain calm ???!!! )

For reservations to heaven, please enter  999 and leave a message .

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, aliens and other planets, Weird details about  anything else please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.For humansake( Not Godsake coz it’s the angels who are speaking on the voice tone & they’ll say humansake only) do not use or speak any porn as this will hamper the connectivity & the lines may go blank & u’ll be charged additional surcharge on ur sins.   

Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and call again tomorrow.

The heaven office is now closed for the weekend , so plz leave a message and telefon number for contact – Contact will be made only if you are a great sinner.!!!!???? ie., sins done more than the sin line( something like poverty line).

If you are calling after office hours and need emergency assistance plz keep trying atleast for  111 minutes.( No idea Y ?)

Thank you and have a heavenly abode.

Phone Hung up……………..!!!!!

 By this time u feel that its better to be in Hell than to go to heaven....isn't??

PS : There is no connectivity to Mr.Yama & it is impossible to speak to him coz as it is almost all of the human race is living in Hell – I suppose. 

Cheers

Silky....